Oh, The Horror!
by Try Luna
Summary: Summary: Introduced to something far sinister than the ninja world itself, Naruto finds himself questioning everything he knew about his own world. Kyūbi isn't so happy either. And how exactly would others react?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** Yes, this is a cliché story. No, it will be a bit different. This is just a little bit of crap that breaks (read: annihilates) the Fourth Wall, makes relative fun of other "Naruto reads Fanfiction" no offence unintended and basically trolls what you've already seen. My other stories are being taken down because I feel that they were not very "good" (read: shit) and the reason for that is because I hardly took my time to look over them. Hell, I just typed'em up and submitted them just like that.

**Just.**

**Like.**

**That.**

I'm that effin' lazy. Boo hoo for me. There might be something salvageable from those two pieces of 'work' but I merely don't have the motivation. Even reviews don't motivate me. Tell me to write more and I'd fart in your face and send you on your way for your troubles. 'Sides, who cares actually cares 'bout what I write? Pessimistic fellow over here. I'll try to at least keep the characters in their characters – with a few exceptions – unlike some hogwash out there.

. . . Damn, I sound like an old man.

Anyway, on with this load of wipes.

**Summary: **Introduced to something far sinister than the ninja world itself, Naruto finds himself questioning everything he knew about his own world. Kyūbi isn't so happy either. And how exactly would others react?

**Key**

"Hey!" – Talking

'It's" – Thinking

"**That" **– Summons, Bijū, Spiritual whatever talking

'**Voice!' - **Summons, Bijū, Spiritual whatever thinking

**Oh, The Horror!**

It was morning time in Konohagakure and one of the most peaceful mornings since the last eight years. Very peaceful. The gentle breeze blew its way through the forest green leaves of the ever-growing trees. The villagers had just started to begin their day; whatever it was they did during the day. Even though the village had only just begun its morning, it was still relatively quiet.

**. . . Too** quiet.

Much too quiet.

Everyone in the village had been expecting a little noise, a peep, a sound. Oh, not from themselves but from a certain individual that would have been terrorising the streets by now. It was a little . . . unnerving. The villagers had gotten so used to that certain individual's antics that they had practically become used to it.

No such luck today, it seems.

The Konoha Academy wasn't exempt from this phenomenon either and they all knew what, or to be exact, _who_ was causing this. The tension was a bit too unbearable. It was as if they were all about to be hit by a full-scale invasion but that would be stupid, right?

. . . Right?

**-0-**

The classroom was filled with exactly twenty-nine students, seated behind their desks and their homeroom teacher standing in front of the class, calling out names from his register. Some of the students looked quite bored; others were filled with determination and the rest? Well, the rest were filled with something else that the writer is too lazy to describe about so we may get back to them.

Hopefully.

However, one student in particular was missing. That one student was also the cause of the apparent tension level.

"Uzumaki Naruto," the teacher called out.

He received no response, whatsoever.

With keen eyes, he peered around the classroom, seeing if he could spot said student as he repeated the name. "Uzumaki Naruto."

Still no response.

The man took one last look around before sighing, giving up and marking off the name as 'absent'. 'It seems the boy did not come today.' The teacher shrugged nonchalantly and began to start his job. 'Makes my day easier.' Putting on a smile, he faced the class as a whole. "Now, class, what did we discuss yesterday?"

Where was that little devil anyway?

**-0-**

Uzumaki Naruto was not amused.

Not in the slightest.

There was a plausible reason for his absence but there was no sense in shouting it out.

Hell, no; he couldn't exactly explain this, anyway.

This . . . This . . . **Abomination.**

Staring wide-eyed at the screen in front of him, the young blond found himself leaning in closer and closer to it. He had been sitting there for hours, impossibly late for the academy that he was expected to attend that day but he was too engrossed at what he was staring at. "There's just no way . . ." he whispered in dismay.

**Click.**

"There just can't be any way . . ." He had been muttering similar, short sentences for the same amount of time. There was just no end to it.

**Click.**

It was absolutely horrifying to his young mind.

. . . Well, it would be horrifying to most minds anyway but that's not the point. His hand couldn't stop clicking the device, moving from page of frightening content to the next page of even more frightening content. How could there be such a thing that existed? What foul and treacherous being could have even _created_ this monstrosity? Naruto mentally cursed that being to the depths of heck. He was still a child, for Ramen's sake! This was like indirect child abuse! Naruto whimpered as the page navigated to much more tormenting content. "Why didn't I go to the academy? Why? **Why?**"

So much information, so little time to store all of it in that small noggin of his.

. . .

. . . Who uses the word noggin anymore?

**-0-**

"**Hm?" **The displeased grunt came out in waves. Behind its cage, the Kyūbi no Kitsune, strongest of all Bijū, able to create tsunamis and flatten mountains with a swish of one of its tails (which has yet to be seen), begrudgingly awoke from its disturbed slumber. How it hated being awakened. How was it supposed to get any beaut- plot its revenge and escape from its humiliating imprisonment? Cracking open a blood-red eye out of anger and pure malice, the fox took a moment to take note of what state its cage was in.

Perfect condition, just as it was when it was sealed in its forsaken vessel. Wonderful.

The Kyūbi growled in irritation. **"Damn that boy, waking me up for nothing." **As it was about to return to its slumber, the giant fox caught a glimpse of something rather small and shiny at the side of its vision on the other side of its cage. The Kyūbi narrowed its eyes at it. Now what? Was it another hindrance by the doing of the seal? Well, that was just what it needed at the moment, wasn't it?

Oh, well. The Kyūbi grumbled to itself as it turned less than half its attention to the little thing. Not much to lose now, right? However, it was still cautious. With every step it took towards the shiny object – pretty shiny, by its opinion – it muttered and cursed irritably. **"Damn Fourth. Damn Kushina. Damn vessel. Damn Shinigami. Damn Konoha. Damn Uchiha!"** So many damns today, it seems. The Bijū was almost about to smash the little thing into smithereens (seriously, smithereens?) and flash fry it before it reigned in its anger. Find out what it is rather than blow it up, **then **blow it up.

Sound plan that was. Very sound.

"**This had better not be another one of those blasted ants twisted ideas."**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:**Do not expect _**any**_ of these chapters to be all that long.

**Key**

"Hey!" – Talking

'It's" – Thinking

"**That" **– Summons, Bijū, Spiritual whatever talking

'**Voice!' - **Summons, Bijū, Spiritual whatever thinking

**Oh, The Horror!**

It was evening time in Konoha and not one of its inhabitants had heard anything from Uzumaki Naruto. No pranks from the blond, no unfortunate Chūnin chasing said blond straight after, no damnably, mocking laughter as they failed to catch him; nothing. Maybe he had decided to take the day off. Maybe he had gone out of town. Maybe he was plotting a huge scale prank on the whole village. The possibilities were many but not all of them quite stuck it.

So where was the little midget?

**-0-**

Uchiha Sasuke was a quiet, yet cold person, often viewed as a prodigy of the Uchiha clan, the last of his kind, and a hard-working child. A lot of girls in his class (and others) thought that he was the coolest and considered him as the best of the best. The academy teachers praised him as he almost effortlessly finished most of the tasks set before him and nearly seen as no surprise that he did. However, no one was perfect. Sasuke was quite antisocial towards his peers and disliked it a great deal when others tried to interact with him – just like those annoying fan girls.

Nevertheless, Uzumaki Naruto seemed to always – **always **– made an effort to talk with him, pester him and go so far as to declare some sort of rivalry between them when they both knew who was stronger.

Despite that fact, the blond simply wouldn't quit it. Sasuke would say he hated him very much.

But when Naruto didn't show up at academy, Sasuke became slightly . . . worried. Okay, maybe he didn't hate the blond as much as he thought he did but he was still an irritating idiot. They had some sort of unspoken friendship although they hardly tried to at least be civil towards the other. So as Sasuke ambled his way to his apartment alone, he couldn't help but wonder staring down at the ground, 'What could've happened to him? It's not like him to miss the academy and **not **pull any pranks while he's at it.' His steps started to slow in pace as he delved deeper into this little problem. 'Could he be busy?'

"Sasuke!"

Oh, there he is. Sasuke halted his steps as he began to glance back at the approaching blond and put on a scowl to go with his face of indifference. "What is-"

Before Sasuke could even finish his sentence, he was roughly spun around and gripped at his shoulders by trembling hands to look at Naruto's shaking body, head facing downwards. From his appearance alone, Sasuke could tell that the blond was seemingly distraught.

That was new. He'd never seen him with this kind of negative emotion. Sasuke made an attempt to inch his head away from Naruto and shake himself free but Naruto's hold was firm. Sasuke did not like this kind of contact at all.

"Sasuke," Naruto whimpered out. He felt so dirty seeing all that . . . that . . . whatever it was.

Sasuke answered his best in this situation. He really didn't like this kind of contact. He was a 'no-touchy' kind of person. "Let go of me, you idiot."

The blond did not comply. Instead, he opted to clutch Sasuke tighter, making the Uchiha even more uncomfortable. Everything Naruto mumbled out was mostly monosyllabic, along the lines of: "They-, it-, that-, how-, why!" Yeah. Something had really made the blond into a blabbering idiot.

. . . Well, more of a blabbering idiot than he already was. Honestly, what had him like this? Sasuke decided to find out and put an end to this irksome babbling. Sasuke forcefully shrugged off the jerking hands and shoved the blond away. "What do you want?" he shouted. He was really not in the mood to deal with this.

Naruto whipped out a sheet of paper for irate Uchiha to see, face down. On it was a picture that vaguely resembled Naruto and Sasuke themselves, most likely fast forwarded to when they were older. However, that was not what made Sasuke become pale. Oh, no, it was what the two were **doing **in the picture that made him almost lose his lunch instantaneously. Not even five seconds after did Sasuke make an extremely fast one-eighty and squeezed his eyelids shut as he covered his eyes to cease the image from burning any further into his memory. "What in the name of Uchiha Madara is that!" Was it too late to get his eyes removed? After seeing **that**, he was absolutely sure that he could handle being blind. At least he wouldn't be able to see that horrible monstrosity again. Screw Itachi, this was worse!

Naruto briefly ripped the paper to shreds with a disgusted roar, making sure to render it totally unreadable and for good measure; the blond incinerated the pieces into ash, using a lighter and a can of air freshener. Amazing how well his Prank Inventory™ came in handy, although what he needed a lighter and a can of air freshener for was a mystery to all but him. Naruto breathed out a slight sigh of relief as the ashes blew away and out of sight, the wind taking them to wherever was not here.

Sasuke, eyes still closed, barely whispered out, "Is it safe?"

Naruto, after calming down a little, answered back with a small "yes".

"Are you sure? You're absolutely sure?" Sasuke had to make sure.

The blond nodded, even though the Uchiha couldn't see him. "It's safe now. I burned **it**."

Sasuke slowly nodded and gradually opened his eyes. It wouldn't do to see that **thing** again. Once Sasuke turned to his classmate and saw nothing in his hands, he nodded again. "Good."

Before delivering a punch that hit Naruto square on his left cheek, sending the surprised blond a few feet away. What was the blond going to expect – a thank you? "You idiot!"

As the blond landed flat on his back with a thud, he couldn't help but think: 'I know I deserved that.' His face contorted into a grin. 'It was kinda worth it, though.' Seeing the Sasuke want to claw his own eyes out made his day. He had figured that since he and Sasuke were in that . . . **thing**, it was only fair that Sasuke knew about it, even if that **thing** should never exist. It was mass cruelty in one picture – period. However, witnessing Sasuke's plight wasn't enough for that image to be forgotten and destroyed from his brain. It would take far more than that.

"You sick monster."

Naruto blinked before angling his head towards Sasuke's general direction, watching as the last Uchiha clutched his stomach in pain. Naruto decided to have a bit more fun at it; the kid was a prankster at heart. "Hey, I had to see it first, and let me tell you, it was just as nasty as you think."

Sasuke was not amused in the slightest. He was still struggling to not heave right there – his pride as an Uchiha demanded it, although this one time could be overlooked. Sasuke's red eyes glared heatedly at Naruto. "I'm going to kill you."

The blond hastily jumped to his feet and held his hands in front of him in a placating manner. Those eyes really freaked him out. "W-Wait!" He managed to stutter out. "I'm not the one who made it!"

The Uchiha began to take slow steps forward. "I'm killing you anyway for showing me that . . . **thing**."

Naruto backpedalled and tried to find a way to diffuse the situation. "I had to see it too, you know!"

Step forward. "So?"

Step back. "You had to know!"

Two steps forward. "I really didn't."

Three steps back. "At least turn off your freaky eyes!"

Halt. "What?"

Naruto took an extra step back for extra measure and pointed at his classmate's eyes. "They're freakin' red and creepy. What the hell d'you do to'em?"

Red? That couldn't be possible. He had yet to activate them, hadn't he? But to make certain: "Are there tomoe spinning in my eyes?"

Now, the blond was confused. "Tomoe? The heck are they?"

Sasuke's left eye twitched. It was then that he remembered that he was talking to an idiot so to simplify things for said idiot: "Are there dots spinning around the middle dot?"

Naruto soon realised what his classmate meant. "Oh, those!" Why didn't he just say so instead of using normal words? "Yeah, you got about three of them in each one. How'd ya do that anyway?"

The raven-haired boy ignored the blond as he stared at his open palms, concentrating a bit. He could see it; the flow and colour of chakra in his hands in detail. This was it; the power! He had awakened his Sharingan and fully matured to boot.

Astounding!

And all because of the idiot in front of him. He really would thank him. Really. After all, he had just helped him awaken his eyes and made his future ambition easier.

But it was not enough for Sasuke to forgive him of his act. That would not be so easily forgiven.

. . . Unless the blond idiot knew how to beat Itachi, however, it didn't seem very likely. Looking back up at Naruto's tense figure, Sasuke's hands twitched, ready to perform the handseals needed for a fireball. Nevertheless, in a show of mercy, Sasuke decided to give Naruto the benefit of the doubt. Staying his hands (for now), the prideful Uchiha finally spoke. "If you don't know how to defeat Uchiha Itachi, you're a dead man."

Naruto's eyes widened as he suddenly remembered what else he had come to tell his rival. "I know how!" Oh, boy.

Sasuke didn't easily buy it. "Liar."

The blond was not to be deterred. "I'm not! Honest! You don't even have to defeat him!"

"Really." The Uchiha decided to humour the blond. "And how, pray tell, would I do that?" Fireball's looking pretty sweet right about now.

Scratching the back of his head, Naruto grinned nervously. "Well . . . it's a pretty long story."

"Time is running out, Uzumaki."

"Just chill already!" Naruto pouted before he slowly reached behind himself . . .

. . . And pulled out something rectangular.

What the . . . How did he do that? Sasuke didn't see anything at the blond's back prior to seeing him, so how had he performed the act? Better yet, what was that object?

Naruto held the item over his head, a holy light bathing him from above. Oddly, a divine chorus soon followed after. "Behold! **The Laptop!** This," Naruto started with a regal tone, "is the answer to all questions. It shall show you exactly what you want."

"_What You Want!" _ The chorus was raised a few decibels. How the hell was he doing that?

"Its mighty technology and wisdom cannot mislead you-" The blond shifted his eyes from left to right as he leaned over and whispered. "If you know where to look, of course. Nonetheless!" the now-majestically seeming blond shouted as he righted his body. "All its answers hold true!"

"_Hold True!"_

"Shall not lie to you!"

"_Not lie to you!"_

Sasuke was very taken aback by all this. What the hell was going on? And who the hell was singing?

The blond Uzumaki held it out before the stunned Uchiha to receive. "Take it, my red-eyed friend! Feel the **power**!"

"_The **Powe-er-er~**!"_

Sasuke soon noticed that the blond wasn't entirely sane anymore.

But it was worth a shot, right? Slowly, the Uchiha reached out for the rectangular object, slight hesitation clasping onto him.

"Do not be afraid, my brother! It shall not harm you!" Naruto tried to encourage ". . . Much." That last part was muttered with extreme silence, much too silent for the Last Uchiha to hear. Carefully, Sasuke took the item into his hands as he tried to consider all of this. Why was he even listening to the class idiot? How could he be of any use to him? Yet, he found himself accepting assistance from him. Was he even thinking rationally? It was as if he wasn't in full control of himself.

. . .

. . . Nah, that couldn't be it.

"How do I use this?"

Naruto couldn't grin much wider than he had been before.

**-0-**

Meanwhile, a certain Nine-Tailed Fox was boisterously cackling with immense glee. It had been doing so for ages and just couldn't seem to stop. **"Rip off half of the seal? Do these idiots even know what they are doing? Ha!"** Very amused, it was. This . . . object had basically made the Bijū's stay **a lot** more bearable. It amazed the Kyūbi how humans could write such utter garbage. If it could get a good laugh by just looking at the object, the Kyūbi wouldn't mind staying it its cage for a while.

After calming down and reducing itself the mere chuckles, the Kyūbi grinned toothily. **"Even I cannot fathom the amount of knowledge this device wields. Who knows what could happen if it were to fall into the wrong hands?" **And there was more than enough information on the device forthe Bijū to use. More than enough to tell it what it needed **and **wanted to know.

**Click.**

"**Let us see what you've been up to, Madara." **There was a long pause.

Then another **Click**.

"**And perhaps a few vixens I could indulge in."**


End file.
